What is emotional intelligence at work and why it matters? It’s a very crucial topic and it’s never enough to talk about it when it comes to the workplace. The concept of emotional intelligence emerged in the 1990s as part of academic discourse and very quickly became an extremely popular element of business psychology and the study of workplace dynamics.
It is often described as EQ (emotional intelligence quotient) to distinguish it from IQ (intelligence quotient). An employee with a high EQ is more flexible, versatile, motivated and productive. EQ is just as important (if not more so) as hard skills and qualifications.
Simply put, emotional intelligence refers to the ability to interpret, understand, and manage emotions—both our own and those of others. It is the ability to be compassionate and calm in stressful situations, and the ability to understand how our behavior can affect those around us.
While IQ represents our cognitive abilities, emotional intelligence is based on behaviors. At first, this may seem abstract or entirely subjective, but our minds are systems, and it’s important to treat them as such. As humans, we have the ability to manage systems, and to adjust and improve them to work best. This can and should apply to our emotional well-being as well.
A person may be highly skilled, but the inability to communicate with the team and control emotions may negatively impact the quality of their work.
How to Increase Emotional Intelligence at Work?
Every person has emotional intelligence. Achieving a high emotional intelligence quotient is really about knowing how to use it and raise it.
In his extensive research on emotional intelligence, behaviorist Daniel Goleman outlined five basic skills that need to be developed to raise your EQ:
Self-awareness
The first step to achieving maximum emotional intelligence is understanding your own emotions. We all experience and express them differently, so the better you understand how to deal with your emotions, the easier it will be to see situations from other people’s perspectives.
It is not just a matter of emotional awareness; self-awareness includes understanding the nuances of our identity, behaviors, and thinking. It is about being aware of how others perceive and respond to us, and how our actions affect our environment.
We call this public self-awareness, or awareness of how others perceive us. However, this does not mean worrying too much about it. It is rather about developing the ability to assess and notice how we are seen without bias and understanding why our image is as it is.
So how exactly do you develop self-awareness?
Emotions seem to exist solely in the mind, but in fact we can experience and express them in a physical way. We call this private self-awareness.
For example, when you are nervous, you may experience a feeling of “boiling.” Anxiety, on the other hand, causes tightness in the chest and shaking. Happiness makes us feel lighter and gives us energy.
By being able to recognize these signals and knowing when and why they appear, you are better able to understand, predict, and deal with your emotions appropriately.
Much of this comes down to personal reflection; take a moment to stop and ask yourself how you feel and what and how you can contribute to your workplace. If you don’t feel like you’re part of the team or there’s a lack of communication, assess why that is and whether your behaviors or what you’re saying are making the problem worse.
Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings and try to understand how different situations may affect you and what emotional reactions they may trigger. At work, consider whether you do the same work when you feel frustrated as when you feel satisfied, and try to analyze how your mental well-being affects your work efficiency and productivity.
Intuition is very closely related to emotional intelligence. Intuition is the perception of a situation, so we can use it to understand how we really feel. It’s not about always following intuition – or always ignoring it – but about being aware of it and being able to analyze it properly to better understand our perspective and emotions.
Self-awareness also means knowing your strengths and weaknesses and being able to realistically assess your abilities. Recognizing your weaknesses is the first step to overcoming them – just as recognizing your strengths is an additional motivator and has a positive effect on your overall well-being.
Self-regulation
Once you know how to recognize and differentiate your emotions, you can start to manage them. If you let your emotions take over your work, you may not be at your peak productivity. Self-regulation means that you don’t let external factors distract you and that you focus solely on the task at hand.
We all have our own thoughts and opinions, but it’s important to know when and how to share them in the workplace. If you seem to have a hard time controlling your emotions, others may see you as unreliable or irresponsible after a while. This doesn’t mean you can’t express yourself or talk openly about your feelings, but self-regulation is about dealing with your emotions appropriately, professionally, and consciously.
Learning self-regulation
Avoid impulsive decisions and whimsical actions. Thinking before acting is a very important part of self-regulation. Consider how your actions or words may affect your environment and team. Also consider whether you are communicating your ideas in the most productive and constructive way.
Self-regulation is a skill that will certainly help you in the workplace, but the techniques you use to improve it can and should also help you in your personal life. Being active and developing hobbies outside of work, getting enough sleep, and finding appropriate and safe ways to vent anger and frustration are important elements in the process of regulating emotions and balancing energy. Doing so will ensure that you come to work with a positive attitude.
The tools and techniques used in self-regulation can be compared to those used in cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps us cope with problems by adjusting our thought processes and behaviors. Cognitive behavioral therapy is often used to treat mental illness and mood disorders, and the skills it teaches can certainly be applied to practicing self-regulation.
Some of the basic techniques include:
- Sharing problems and concerns: If you allow many smaller problems to merge into one big concern, it becomes too difficult to solve them.
- Categorize problems into those you can solve and those you have no control over so you can focus only on what you can fix.
- Setting aside a specific time to solve specific problems – try not to think about them until the designated time and don’t let them overwhelm you throughout the day.
- Practicing mindfulness; take time to breathe and don’t focus on your problems.
- Looking at problems from a broader perspective.
- Writing down your feelings – this will help you “materialize” and clarify more general problems and formulate good solutions.
If you feel sad, frustrated, or any other overtly negative emotion, take action to alleviate it and talk openly with your colleagues about what you are experiencing.
Practicing self-regulation will help you adapt better to the workplace and stay focused. If you can manage and prioritize emotional issues, you will be able to do the same with your work tasks.
Motivation – Emotinal Intelligence at Work
Those who set goals and strive to achieve them on the path to self-fulfillment can boast of intrinsic motivation. This is not a motivation driven by money, reputation, or prestige, but passion and a sense of personal satisfaction.
Being honest about your work and knowing that your hard work is not driven by the desire to earn money but by personal ambition will help you achieve better results and work more efficiently. There is of course nothing wrong with striving for recognition and financial success, but if these are the only things you take on a job for, you may never feel true satisfaction related to your professional life. You should not work hard just to please your bosses and clients, but also to achieve something more for yourself by developing your emotional intelligence.
How to stay motivated at work
If you can’t find your motivation, ask yourself what you’re really looking for in your position and career. Keep asking yourself this question until you find a solid answer. Determine what drives you, where you want to be in the future, and what you need to do to get there.
Set realistic but challenging goals that fuel your personal passions and desires so you know how and why you’re working for yourself—even if you’re actually working for others. Setting goals regularly is a fantastic way to boost your motivation and productivity.
Focus on the parts of your job that you enjoy, and always try to understand that sometimes, to get to the tasks that you enjoy, you have to do the ones that you don’t. The aspects of your job that you enjoy should motivate you to do other tasks. Ask yourself why you enjoy some aspects of your job while you don’t like others.
If you feel completely unfulfilled and burnt out at work, it may be time to talk to your superiors about it. If your job isn’t making you happy, it’s not just bad for you, it’s bad for them too. So don’t be afraid to talk about your worries directly.
Motivation is contagious; your enthusiasm, optimism, and diligence will reflect on those around you and help create a positive workplace fueled by passion, not paychecks. Therefore your emotional intelligence at work would help your collegues.
Empathy
Emotional intelligence is not only about understanding yourself but also about making an effort to understand the emotions of others. When disagreeing with others, it is worth looking at the situation from their perspective, rather than dismissing or ignoring their emotions and opinions. Listen to them, allow them to express their opinions, and try to get the most out of your conversations. Empathy is key to managing conflict.
High emotional intelligence means being able to admit mistakes, learn from them, and understand different perspectives. You don’t have to agree with everything your coworkers say and do, but you can at least try to understand their emotions so you can help them deal with them.
Show empathy for your team members, listen to them, and respond constructively to their concerns. Being aggressive or dismissive of someone’s ideas will only hinder communication and freedom in the workplace, which can have a very negative impact on your work and management.
Social Skills
Strong social awareness is the foundation of relationship management and, ultimately, EQ. Social intelligence is more than just being polite and sending smiley emoticons (although those can certainly help). It’s about engagement, interest, honesty, and making sure the people you’re talking to feel comfortable and know you’re listening.
Try not to be a passive conversationalist. Maintain eye contact, be an active and engaged participant in the discussion, and show genuine interest and willingness to learn. Earn the trust of your colleagues through your honesty and compassion. Foster positive thinking and kindness.
Try to be aware of body language – both your own and that of others. Having good interpersonal skills means being able to analyze your surroundings and understand what is and isn’t appropriate to do.
When it comes to both empathy and social skills, it’s worth remembering the following steps:
- Listen to your coworkers
- Don’t interrupt others to support their emotional intelligence at work
- Make sure your feedback is always constructive
- Be open and honest; encourage others to be as well.
- Recognize the signs of burnout in yourself and others and take appropriate action
- Make time for a social life for better emotional intelligence at work
Communication is Key
Team members who know how to communicate and understand each other will certainly work better. All of the skills listed above relate to good communication – both with the team and with oneself.
Free communication is essential – whether you work in the same office or remotely. Using techniques and tools like video screen capture to support free communication and direct feedback will help develop emotional intelligence. Each tool can help manage work and efficiently collaborate with the team.
A workplace with high emotional intelligence will be more productive, motivating, healthy, and joyful. You don’t have to be best friends with all your coworkers, but understanding how they think and being aware of how your behaviors and actions are perceived is important.
Working on your emotional intelligence means not letting your emotions affect the quality of your work and your relationships with your team. It also means that you know how to use your strengths and that you are able to admit that you also have weaknesses, but you know how to overcome them. People with a really high emotional intelligence quotient do not ignore problems and negative feelings, but face them directly and pragmatically.
A high EQ in the workplace is just as important as your IQ – if not more so. Practicing and improving your emotional intelligence will help you increase your confidence and control, develop your decision-making skills and improve your emotional intelligence at work.